


Destined To Explode

by winnerstick



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Axel/Reno brothers, Jealousy, M/M, Sibling Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-09
Updated: 2012-09-09
Packaged: 2017-11-13 21:54:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winnerstick/pseuds/winnerstick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Axel and Reno are brothers. Reno has something—or someone—that Axel wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Destined To Explode

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for my friend. She wanted an Axel/Roxas/Reno fic where they fight over Roxas. Also my contribution to Akuroku day.

If he was poetic, Axel would say something about how magnificent the overcast sky was and how it was foreshadowing the future with its delicate grays and tones of impending doom. But he wasn’t poetic. He was about the furthest thing from poetic. Words had always come easily to him, but not the kinds of words that made a good kind of spoken melody. He was good at comebacks and quips; he could leave the imagery and alliteration to the literary scholars. There was nothing magnificent, delicate, or foreshadow-y about this weather. It was simply dark and gray and shitty.

There was something about rainy weather that just put Axel in a horrendous mood. It didn’t help that his car had decided not to start today, so he was forced to trudge to the bus stop. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he had just missed the bus he had fully intended to get on and had to wait an extra fifteen minutes leaning against a pole because two fat old men decided that they had to arrange themselves perfectly so that they were the only two that could fit on the bench. Assholes.

Because they were one of the earlier stops, Axel managed to find a seat, though he was sandwiched between one man who didn’t seem to understand the concept of deodorant and a woman who had an affinity for talking with her hands. Axel made himself as small as possible (which wasn’t easy, considering his long limbs) and kept his eyes trained toward the ground, anything to discourage the lady with jelly arms from striking up a conversation with him.

He was well aware that they had gone through a few stops, he just didn’t particularly care. Maybe it was rude of him, but he really had no desire to give up his seat to anyone. Someone else could give up their own seat to the old lady or the woman with children. The only person he would consider giving up his seat to would be a pregnant woman, because it wasn’t necessarily that woman’s fault that she was the size of a whale.

But, either way, it was always best to just pretend he didn’t know that there were people standing while he was somewhat comfortable in a seat. He didn’t need people shooting him resentful looks. When had being a young man become a deciding factor in whether or not it was okay that he had a seat on the bus? Was there an age limit on them? “You must be above the age of sixty or a member of the vagina clan to have a seat”? That was bullshit. He was there first, so it was his seat.

So he kept his eyes down and refused to look up until… he got a feeling. If he was poetic, he’d say something about how fate was tugging his gaze upwards. Maybe even something that flowed better than that. But he wasn’t one to believe much in fate. Whether there happened to be such a thing or not, the point was, he looked up. He looked up even though he was dead-set against it. He had never been happier that he had followed his instincts rather than his head.

Before him was easily the most attractive boy he had seen in a long time. Blonde hair spiked up in such a ridiculous way that it was rather cute. After all, it wasn’t like Axel could really judge someone based on their hair, considering the state of his own. This boy’s hair was quite a bit shorter, though, and had spikes all along the top. His eyes were cast so far downward that it almost looked like they were closed, which allowed Axel to appreciate how long his eyelashes were. Usually that would be a feminine trait, but it suited this boy in such a way that Axel was pretty sure only he could pull off. One arm was up, holding on to one of the loops hanging from the ceiling, and he looked rather peeved that he was stuck on this bus, surrounded by way too many people that were jostled around with every bump, turn, and stop. His other arm was wrapped around the textbooks at his side and he was holding them so tightly that his knuckles were white. Axel couldn’t blame him for that, though. Each of those books had to be about a hundred dollars, and from the looks of him, he couldn’t really spare that much in replacing them.

“What’re you taking?” Axel asked, surprised at himself. He wasn’t one to talk to strangers on a bus, no matter how attractive they were. It took the boy a moment to realize that the redhead was talking to him, and he looked a bit startled. He covered it well, though, and replaced his surprised look almost instantly with a scrutinizing look, as he glanced up and down Axel.

“Psychology, Biology, and English,” he replied, though everything about him seemed a bit guarded. His voice sounded unsure, his muscles were a bit tensed, and his facial expression still seemed a bit skeptical. He looked exactly like Axel would’ve looked if some random person on a bus was talking to him, which only made the boy look more attractive to Axel.

_We have that in common,_  he thought, smiling up a bit at him. “Freshman, then?”

“Am I that obvious?”

That earned a smirk from the redhead. “Just seem a bit like general classes. Hey, do you want to sit?” Roxas just raised an eyebrow at him as the bus slowed to a stop, forcing his body into the gentleman next to him. “You look like you’re having one hell of a time with holding on to that strap, and I have a seat. So… take mine?” He stood up, as if to punctuate his offer.

Roxas waited a second, and then practically fell into the now empty seat as the bus started moving again. Axel reached up and grabbed the loop, smirking down at the boy.

“Thanks,” the blonde replied, rearranging his books so they were in a perfect stack on his lap, than placing a hand on either side of his pile.

“Don’t mention it. It’s a lot easier for me to reach with the extra foot and a half I have on you.”

The blonde scowled up at him. “You’re not  _that_  much taller. Is this how you treat every person you talk to on a bus?”

“No, usually I don’t talk to them at all. Or I take them out for coffee, say, seven o’ clock?”

The blonde gawked at him for a second, as if he was trying to figure out how serious he was. Axel just kept smiling at him and his stare didn’t waver for a second as he waited for the kid’s answer.

“Did you seriously just- You don’t even-” He paused, ran his fingers though his hair (which somehow went right back to its original position. The fuck?), and shook his head. “I can’t. I’m meeting my  _boyfriend_  for dinner.”

And that was that. It seemed they had reached the boy’s stop because he got up and stepped right off the bus. Either this was where he wanted to go, or he wanted to make a dramatic exit. If it was the latter, he sure was dedicated to his rejection. Axel didn’t feel rejected, though, because he felt pretty lucky to even have met the boy with the beautiful, piercing blue eyes.

—-

The problem with having an older brother is the fact that, no matter what, they always have it better. He’s always perfect to everyone else. Attractive, talented, friendly, charming, everything. He had it all from the brains to the brawn and even though occasionally it didn’t seem like he really had anything going for him, to you, everyone else thought he could walk on water. Because he was the older brother, the first child, and therefore perfect. Meanwhile, the little brother was still awkward and second-rate.

Sometimes it seemed like Axel was the only one that ever saw Reno’s flaws. Even when they were little, Reno was up on a pedestal and Axel was forever trying to climb his way up. Reno was the more outgoing, less sarcastic, much better version of Axel. The first child and therefore the perfect one. All throughout their lives, their parents were constantly bailing Reno out of trouble, while Axel was expected to be perfect. Axel was the only one who saw that Reno was cocky, lazy, and ridiculous.

He always got into trouble. He was always sent to the principal’s office and had been suspended a few times. He had countless speeding warnings and tickets and one time even managed to crash their dad’s brand-new Mini Cooper (although Axel and Reno had both  _tried_  to convince him not to get the damned thing in the first place, but it wasn’t like he listened to them, anyway). It didn’t matter what Reno did, though, he always got off scot-free. Never got in trouble at all. Well, maybe he would get grounded, but then Reno would find a way out of it; usually he would do that by climbing out of his window and going wherever he wanted to anyway. Their parents were always cleaning up after him and still considered him their pride and joy.

Axel, on the other hand, could do no right. He was constantly being compared to his older brother. He had no doubt that his parents loved him; they just were so much harder on him than they were on his brother. Even when he was young, he constantly felt like he didn’t live up to the example Reno set, even though Axel had far less behavioral issues than the older redhead. To gain any positive attention, Axel would have to do above and beyond, and that simply wasn’t what he was interested in doing. Sure, when he was young, he would spend his time trying to please his parents. But by the time he grew old enough to realize what bullshit that was, he stopped caring. He started doing whatever he wanted to do. He wasn’t a bad kid, but he wasn’t what anyone would call good, either.

He mouthed off to his teachers, he bent the rules in his favor, and he ditched classes. He wasn’t crazy and out of control, but he did not put up with being told what to do, either. He wasn’t interested in playing the game that was school. His test scores were high, but his grades were low. But, as he would always explain it, grades didn’t mean anything except the fact that he didn’t do their bullshit busywork. It wasn’t like Reno’s grades were stellar, either.

But even back then, Reno got whatever he wanted. He got his way no matter what and nothing negative ever touched him.

—-

Axel hadn’t forgotten that he was having dinner at his parents’ house; he simply didn’t want to go. Spending time with his loving family was not high on his list of things he wanted to do today. He would have much rather gone out and done something fun and stupid with a friend, but his mom seemed to have that mother’s intuition and put that thought out of his head. About an hour before he was supposed to be there, she called and guilt-tripped the hell out of him.

“I’m so excited you and Reno are coming over tonight,” she told him, and Axel could almost hear the underlying threat in her voice.

“Yeah. Listen, Mom, about tha-“

“It’s been so long since we’ve all had dinner together, you know? I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks. I went a little crazy with the cooking, but I’m sure you two will eat us out of house and home either way. I can’t wait to show you what I’ve done with the place.”

God damn her. She knew exactly how to get Axel to do what she wanted. He couldn’t bail now, not now that she told him how excited she was. She’d be devastated if he backed out now, not to mention she would hold it over his head for years. “ _Remember that time you were supposed to come over for dinner and you couldn’t at the last minute? I’m so glad you’re here this time. That was such a sad day._ ” Mrs. Flynn certainly was good at laying it on thick.

“Yeah, Mom. Sounds great. I have to go now, okay? But I’ll see you in an hour.”

—-

He was there. He was there, and damn it he probably deserved an award for it. Because Axel had actually managed to make it there on time while Reno was almost an hour late. Axel and his parents had already gone through just about every bit of Smalltalk they could possibly come up with. They had already talked about the house and the changes his parents had made, they talked about how Axel’s job was going, they even talked about the fucking weather. Reno hadn’t bothered to make an appearance yet, and Axel was getting more and more pissed off as he watched his mother get more and more anxious about it. Damn him.

But, finally, the doorbell rang, and Axel only just barely choked back a “Thank God!” as his mother rushed to the door. She grinned at Axel as she walked and Axel just barely managed a smile back, though the smile dropped as soon as his mother looked away.

“Oh!” Mrs. Flynn exclaimed as she opened the door. “Reno, you didn’t tell us you were bringing someone!”

Reno bringing someone? Now  _that_  was surprising. Reno never brought people home. He dated countless people of both sexes, but the only person he had ever brought to their house was his prom date senior year. He also happened to break up with that girl the day after prom, in order to date her best friend. Now, this, Axel had to see. So he pushed himself off of the chair his ass had taken residence in and ambled over to stand next to his mother in the doorway. Well, he almost made it there. Not quite, though, because he had to stop out of pure shock.

Those beautiful blue eyes, that intriguing blond hair; it was impossible to mistake it. That was the boy that Axel had met on the bus this morning. This time he was dressed far nicer. Before, he was wearing a t-shirt and some ratty looking jeans. Now, he was wearing a blue button-up (that,  _had he been paying attention_ , Axel would have said matched his eyes perfectly, but he  _wasn’t_  paying attention to something like that) and another pair of jeans, but these ones were cleaner, darker, and much nicer.

He hadn’t noticed Axel, yet, which had the redhead quickly going through every exit he knew of that he could get to before the blonde turned his attention toward him. Instead, he was staring at Axel’s older brother with an agitated expression.

“You didn’t tell them? I thought they invited me!” he exclaimed, his lips pursing in his irritation.

Reno shrugged. “Slipped my mind. No big deal. You have enough food, right, Mom?”

Their mom spluttered a little at that, as if she had finally remembered that it was her duty to be a flawless hostess. “Of course! Come in, come in! Reno, aren’t you going to introduce us?”

They stepped inside and Reno flashed their mom one of his “forget about the stupid thing I did because I’m perfect, okay?” looks (name courtesy of Axel), and he shrugged his shoulders again. “Mom, this is Roxas. Roxas, this is my mom and my brother, Axel.”

“Call me Ariel,” she replied, beaming at him as she took Roxas’s outstretched hand. “Glad to meet you, Roxas! Please, come in. The kitchen’s right this way…” She nodded a bit and led the way as Roxas’s eyes turned to Axel. Recognition flashed across his features and was gone again in a flash as he offered a polite smile.

“Nice to meet you, Axel,” Roxas said, holding his hand out to the redhead.

_Well played_ , Axel thought, taking his hand and shaking it. So they were going to act like they hadn’t met. Axel could deal with that. Still, he couldn’t believe his damn luck. Of course Roxas would be dating Reno. Because that was the kind of shit that only happened in movies and in Axel’s life. Reno got absolutely everything that Axel wanted. Even when he wasn’t trying, he still got it.

The rest of the night went by a lot better than Axel thought it would. He wouldn’t call it good, but no major disasters took place. World War Three didn’t break out at their dining room table. Mostly, they just talked about Roxas and Reno. How long they had known each other, how they met, and so on. By the time the night was through and Axel’s mother had asked all the questions she could think of, Axel was half convinced he could write a book on the boy. He took the questions well, though, and never once gave an impolite answer, no matter how many inquiries were fired at him at once. But with every little bit he learned about the blonde, the more intrigued Axel became. This boy was perfect… but not for Reno. He was all kinds of wrong for Reno. He deserved better.

Not that Axel could really be considered better, by any measurement. But he was at least willing to be better for this boy. And Reno… Reno would continue to be Reno. And there was nothing that Axel could do about that.

Except maybe there was.

—-

The first time in Axel’s life that he was better than Reno at something was when he was in fifth grade and Reno was in seventh. It was a rainy day and they were stuck indoors, so, unless they wanted the company of their parents nagging them to spend time together, they had to beat them to the punch. After almost an hour arguing over what to do, they finally settled on playing Super Smash Brothers.

It was such a little thing, but it was Axel’s shining moment. After years of constantly trying to be as good as his obviously talented brother, he finally had something he was much better at. At first, Axel thought that Reno was just letting him win. But once he realized that his brother was actually trying his hardest to beat him, while Axel was just effortlessly kicking his ass, it boosted his confidence.

They played countless games, and each time Axel beat Reno mercilessly. After a few hours, Reno finally gave up, throwing his controller at the ground and storming out, while Axel sat there with a smug smile. That was the first time that he felt like his brother wasn’t perfect. That he could gain the upper hand if he only worked it.

It seemed like such a simple thing, but to a fifth grader, it was the most powerful bit of knowledge he had ever gained.

—-

The third time they ran into each other was an accident. It just so happened that they were both taking the bus at the same time again, except this time their line was a lot less crowded. Probably because it was at an odd hour; two in the afternoon didn’t tend to bring all of the rush hour traffic that other hours brought. Thank God, because Axel really had absolutely no interest in trying to sandwich himself between two fat and eccentric people again. Absolutely no desire at all.

His prayers were answered when he stepped onto the bus and saw an empty seat next to a particularly attractive blonde. Roxas hadn’t noticed him; his face was buried dip within a textbook. Rather than allowing the boy to study or catch up on homework or whatever else he was doing, Axel decided this would be a perfect time to bother the kid. So he took a seat right next to him and read over his shoulder for what felt like twenty minutes, but was probably only about twenty seconds. Seriously, it took him  _forever_  to realize that the redhead was there, and that was simply ridiculous to Axel.

Finally, Roxas looked up, and when he saw Axel, he jumped a little. “Shit, Axel, way to scare the crap out of me,” Roxas said, scowling at him. He glanced back down at the book before slamming it shut, looking up at Axel with an irritated expression. “What do you want?”

Axel shrugged. ‘Nothing. Just was in the neighborhood. Or, well, on the bus. Saw you all by your lonesome. Decided you needed some company.”

“And you couldn’t see that I was  _busy_?”

“Were you? Hm. Must’ve slipped my notice.”

Roxas rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, staring straight ahead rather than at the annoyance to his right. Finally, he dared a peak at Axel. “Why didn’t you tell me Reno was your brother?”

“Really, Roxas? Why didn’t I just bring up my brother in a conversation I was pretty sure had nothing to do with Reno? I had no idea you were dating him. I didn’t know he was dating anyone.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured that, by the look of shock on your mom’s face,” Roxas replied, scowling at the pole in front of him. “I probably should’ve known. You both look alike. Even have similar tattoos. How cute.”

Axel rolled his eyes and shook his head. “We were drinking. With a tattoo artist. It was a drinking game. Like, if Reno and I won, we got a free tattoo, even though we’re all shitfaced. I don’t even know how the hell we won, but we did. Or, at least, I did. And then Reno decided after I got my tattoos that he just had to have them. So. Matching tattoos. On our faces. Our mom was pissed.”

Roxas stared at him for a second before a laugh escaped him. More than just escaped him, more like fucking took over him. If they hadn’t been in a very public and somewhat crowded place, he probably would have been rolling on the floor, he was laughing so hard. Axel frowned, but he couldn’t really bring himself to be unhappy about it. Sure, it sucked that Roxas was laughing at him, but he liked listening to his laugh. He had a nice one. It wasn’t shrill or super loud and it definitely wasn’t forced at all. He didn’t snort or anything. He just had a really, really nice laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, shut up,” Axel said after a while, rolling his eyes and looking away.

“It figures that you two would get tattoos like that when you’re shitfaced. You’re just lucky that the tattoo artist was still able to get them looking the same, even if they are stupid.”

The bus ride was only about another ten minutes long, but in those ten minutes they talked the entire time. They talked about important things, such as Roxas’s school, and dumb things, such as the new movies that were coming out. It was easy, talking to Roxas like this. He didn’t have to pretend to be anything else, because for whatever reason, being himself was working. It was working to get Roxas to like him which was, in turn, working to get Reno pissed off. He was sure of it.

—-

The fourth time they ran into each other was completely on purpose, not that Axel would ever admit to that. He took every bit of information that Roxas had told him on the bus and put it to good use; the boy didn’t realize how much he revealed in how little he said. Axel was able to track down where his psychology class was, what time he would be getting out, and a general idea of what way he would take to get to the bus. Assuming everything went according to plan, he would run into the blonde not too long after the class let out.

It was a new low for Axel; he had never been nearly this stalker-ish before. Sure, he had used bits of information they gave him to get to know a person better, but that was just good strategy. If you listened to people, they tended to like you better, since good listeners were few and far between. He had never, in his life, come up with a plan like this. He had never gone so far out of his way just to spend time with some guy. But this wasn’t just about how attractive the guy was or how much Axel enjoyed his company, though those two facts did play a part in it. This was mostly about getting what was rightfully his.

“Hey, Roxas!” Axel called, once he noticed the boy walking up to the bus station.

Roxas looked around curiously for a second before his gaze settled on Axel, and even from a few yards away, Axel could very clearly see every little change in his face. The way that his eyebrow slowly curved upward and his forehead wrinkled to allow for this change; the way that his lip ducked into his mouth just a little bit, just enough for him to bite at the skin; the way that his head tilted just a little bit to the side. Roxas was clearly very confused and surprised to see Axel there, and the redhead couldn’t blame him. Why would Axel be there? Well, Axel simply hoped that didn’t come up. Still, though, the blonde made his way to him, despite the confusion etched across his features.

“What are you doing up here, Axel?” he asked. Damn it. Of course that would be the first thing out of his mouth.

Axel shrugged, trying not to show any incriminating facial expressions. “Do you want to go get ice cream?”

The look of surprise on Roxas’s face was almost comical as the blonde crossed his arms. “You came all the way over here for ice cream?”

Again, Axel shrugged. “There’s a really good place not too far from here. You mentioned on the bus you had a test today? How’d it go? Are we celebrating or mending wounds?”

Roxas frown deepened and he looked down. “I don’t want to talk about that fucking test. It kicked my ass.”

“All the more reason to get ice cream! Nothing makes you feel better faster than a nice, cool, salty-sweet treat.” And without further persuasion, Axel grabbed hold of Roxas’s arm and dragged him in the direction of the ice cream parlor. He ignored the boy’s inquiries and objections the entire way and before he even gave the boy a chance to speak, or order, he barked out, “Two sea salt ice creams.”

The girl behind the counter looked at them curiously, raising her eyebrow as she did so. Not that Axel really gave a shit about what this girl thought. She looked to be about seventeen and her face just made Axel want to ask what smelled so bad. Her hair was pulled up into a tight ponytail and Axel was ninety-nine percent sure that she had been texting behind that cash register. He didn’t particularly care about that, either, though. It wasn’t his place to judge someone’s disdain for a clearly very boring job, considering there was no one in the shop except for this girl and the two of them.

Ordering had shut Roxas up, though. Axel looked down at the boy to see him standing stiffly next to Axel. He was no longer trying to pull his arm away (which Axel was sure had made him look like a rapist to anyone that had seen them on the way to the shop), so the redhead let go completely. That allowed Roxas to relax a little, and he finally looked someone intrigued by the blue ice cream. Axel handed over the money and took one of the popsicles from the girl, before turning on his heel to sit at a table outside. He didn’t have to look behind him to know that Roxas was right on his heel, he could practically feel the boy’s breath, he was so close.

“How’s the ice cream?” Axel asked after a while.

“It’s great. Why sea salt? What makes you choose a flavor like that?”

Axel shrugged. “The only other things they had were chocolate and vanilla. The boring ones. I wanted to try something new. Turns out it’s the best ice cream there is.”

“But why were you even up here?” Roxas had to be eating that popsicle that way on purpose. There was no way in hell he was just eating in that way  _just because_. It took Axel almost a few seconds to realize that he had even asked a question, he was so distracted by that mouth. Damn him. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Leaving with a boner probably wasn’t going to turn the odds in his favor.

“I went to school up here. A friend and I were walking around after our finals and we decided to go in. It’s the only place I’ve found so far that sells it,” Axel responded, turning his attention back to his own popsicle, if for no reason other than to save a shred of his dignity. For some reason, he didn’t think it would bode well if Roxas knew that he was currently aiding the blood flow leaving his brain.

“You went to school here?”

“Well… yeah?”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty four.”

Roxas raised an eyebrow and tilted his head again. Axel was beginning to adore that head-tilt; though that was another thing he would probably never tell Roxas. It just made him look a lot more… innocent. Younger. Sweeter. In all his confused glory.

“So you’re six years older than me. Two years younger than Reno.” He nodded a bit and Axel wanted to know why the hell that was even relevant, but he didn’t get a chance to before Roxas had moved on. “When did you graduate?”

“I didn’t.”

“What?”

“I didn’t graduate. I dropped out after that year.”

“Why? Decided to devote your life to sea salt ice cream?” That was the first grin that Axel had gotten out of Roxas in this entire meeting and Axel couldn’t help but grin back. Well, he hadn’t actually been the cause of it, but he liked it anyway. Roxas had a really nice smile.

“No, douchebag,” Axel replied, grinning and rolling his eyes. “I had this teacher. Miss Vogel. English. I was in my second year there and on one of my essays she finally told me that I wasn’t a poet and would never be well versed in writing. That she was just giving me grades high enough to pass so that I wouldn’t have to retake it and waste everyone’s time. That was kind of the breaking point, you know? I was sick of everyone dumping on me. I didn’t even want to go to college. My parents wanted me to be an accountant or something like that, because I’m pretty decent with numbers. But that’s not at all what I want to do, so I dropped out. My dad just about blew a gasket. I wasn’t welcome at family dinners for a few months, because it would just start a fight, which always stressed my mom out.”

Roxas bit his lip and looked at him sympathetically. “That really sucks. But… what are you doing now, then?”

“There’s this interior decorating firm that I work for. No, I’m not an interior decorator or anything. I’m an errand boy. It pays pretty damn well. I deliver furniture to these really rich people and help the real designers get it in the right place. Sometimes I help with little design things. I do a lot of painting. Not the intricate artsy stuff, even though I could. They don’t really trust me with that. I don’t know; it was just a job I took because I needed a job, y’know? But I like it.”

Roxas nodded and looked thoughtful for a while as he bit off a piece of his popsicle. By this point, Axel’s was almost completely gone, and Roxas had hardly even made a dent on his. How he was making it last this long, Axel wasn’t sure. Axel had a habit of just gobbling up his in a matter of minutes, if even that long. Roxas went about it thoughtfully, though. He went about everything thoughtfully, it seemed. He took a second to gauge what the people around him were saying and doing before he reacted. Axel, on the other hand, just reacted.

“I like school,” Roxas finally murmured. His voice was soft, almost like he was more talking to himself than to Axel. “I kind of only went because my parents wanted me to go. I didn’t see the point. Now I do. It’s opened a lot more doors for me. Met a lot of different people, aside from the morons I used to hang out with at home. I’m glad I went. But I’m still not sure what I want to do. And everyone keeps asking me. I’m just… not sure yet. I’m not ready to make that decision.”

“Yeah… It’s hard to decide what you want to do. It’s like… people expect you to just know at a young age. But that’s not fair. Because that’s what you’ll probably be doing until you die, or pretty damn close. How could you possibly know something that big so soon?” Roxas nodded in agreement and Axel took a moment to finish off his ice cream before continuing. “I think you’re doing alright. You only just started, right? You still have some time. Granted, not a whole lot. You’ll want to narrow it down soon so you’re not wasting money but… yeah.”

Roxas nodded and looked down at his phone. “Hey, thanks for the ice cream. And for talking with me. It was really nice,” he glanced at his phone again and frowned apologetically at Axel. “I have to go, though. I’m meeting up with Reno in an hour and I still have to get home and shower. So… another time?”

Axel tried not to let his face fall, though his heart had absolutely plummeted. He had liked talking to Roxas. He was different from Reno’s other conquests. They hardly talked to anyone other than Reno and they weren’t exactly the type of people you could talk to. It was strange, but Axel felt like he could talk to Roxas. Granted, he barely knew the boy, but he still felt more at ease with him than he had with anyone for a long time. Still, though, Roxas had to go. So he smiled and nodded, standing up. They shared an awkward goodbye where they stood at an uncomfortable distance and tried to figure out how the hell they were supposed to go about this, before they finally just nodded and went their separate ways.

—-

“Axel, what are you doing?”

Axel was not the best at waking up. It took him a long time to be even remotely ready for people, so he did not take particularly well to being spoken to in the first few seconds of waking up. It was even worse when the little shithead that was talking to him was the one that had woken him up. That was rude as hell, if you asked Axel. Wasn’t there some rule about waking sleeping babies? Well, that rule should be extended to everyone, because it really was one of the shittiest things you could do.

“Jesus, Reno. I’m  _sleeping._  How the hell did you get in here, anyway?”

“Your roommate let me in. That’s not the point. What the fuck are you doing?”

Axel finally pushed himself up and rubbed his eyes, being sure to send a glare Reno’s way as his tried to get his eyes adjusted to the harsh light that his asshole of a brother had decided to turn on. He wasn’t supposed to be here. It was Axel’s apartment, it was two in the morning, and Axel had been asleep. His brother was supposed to be in his own home doing his own thing and pretending Axel didn’t exist. They were pretty damn good at that most of the time.

“I told you. I’m sleeping.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Reno said, smacking Axel on the back of his head. Okay. That he was not expecting.

“You seriously want to start a fight at  _two in the morning_ , Reno?” Axel snarled, rubbing his head.

“Why are you taking Roxas out to get ice cream?”

“Jesus,  _that’s_  what this is about? I just took your boy toy to get some ice cream after he failed a test. What’s the big deal?”

“Why were you up there? Why have you been seeing him so often? The fuck are you doing?”

“You’re such a broken record. I’m not doing anything. I just happened to be up there and thought he could use some ice cream. Again,  _what’s the big deal_?”

“The big deal is that my little brother is trying to take my boyfriend out on dates. You weren’t up there by accident, Axel. I’m not an idiot.”

That made Axel grin. “You sure about that?”

“Don’t make me hit you again,” Reno threatened, getting a little too close for comfort.

It wasn’t that Axel was afraid of Reno or anything. By this point, they were about on the same level. When they were kids, Reno could take Axel easily, because when you’re kids, two years makes a huge difference. But now that they were both in their twenties, it didn’t seem to matter anymore. Axel wasn’t afraid of his older brother beating him up; he just wasn’t really in the mood to start a fistfight with the older redhead at two in the morning. That was a fight he was definitely going to lose, considering he was still half asleep.

“Afraid you have competition?”

“Shut up. You’re hardly what I would call competition. I just don’t want my baby brother hanging around my boyfriend.” Reno walked away from him and started messing with the CDs on Axel’s dresser.

“Then why are you here at two in the morning, asking me what I’m doing with your boyfriend? I think you’re scared. He talks about me, doesn’t he?” Axel would have been lying if he said that he didn’t mean to sound smug. He had never seen Reno confront him like this. Usually he would just tease him about his attempts at getting the upper hand and call it a day. Did that mean that something was actually going Axel’s way?

Reno’s eyes narrowed and he walked back to the door. “Stay away from him, Axel. Seriously. You don’t want to put up with that humiliation when he ends up picking me, just like everyone always does.”

And then he left. He left and with that final remark, he had Axel punching his pillow in frustration. 

—-

“Are you doing this on purpose?”

The voice made Axel jump about a mile into the air, which elicited a giggle from the younger man. Axel turned around to face the blonde and raised an eyebrow. This time it hadn’t been on purpose. This time he hadn’t tried to run into Roxas. It simply had happened, which made him kind of love God or Fate or whoever else was pulling the strings “up there.” He had just been minding his own business, getting some food (since their fridge was getting dangerously low). The redhead hadn’t even noticed that he was there.

“Doing what on purpose? Picking out apples? Yes. They hide the best ones, you know. Leave the bruised ones on top,” he winked at Roxas and tried not to look too triumphant when the blonde grinned.

“I mean running into me like this.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re the one who ran into me, this time. I didn’t even know you were here. Stalking me?”

Roxas rolled his eyes and took an apple from Axel’s hand, examined it, and then placed it in his own basket. Before Axel could protest—because, seriously, how fucking rude was that?!—he had started walking off. He didn’t even have to look back to make sure that Axel was following after him; it was kind of hard not to follow after someone that made a pair of jeans and a hoodie look so damn hot.

“Hey, I’m actually glad I ran into you. Have you talked to Reno recently?”

That was new. Not even two minutes into a conversation and his stupid older brother was being brought up. Just fabulous. Ever since the two a.m. wakeup call last week—which had severely messed up Axel’s sleep for the night, causing him to be a real pain in the ass at work the next day—Axel had been trying to pretend that the older Flynn didn’t even exist. He hadn’t even come up with any other master plans for running into Roxas; that was how pissed off he was.

“No, not really.”

“Oh.” Roxas actually sounded a bit disappointed. “I was just hoping you could help me figure something out. He’s been acting weird lately. Kind of been a real… asshole, to put it bluntly. Not that he was an angel before, but still. Worse now. He’s been blowing me off lately. And I swear I’m not trying to be like… overly involved boyfriend, it’s just weird that we went from hanging out or at least talking at least every other day to not having really any contact in about a week.”

Axel shrugged. “He’s kind of like that. When he gets pissed off about something dumb, he’s kind of a dick in every other aspect of his life.”

“What could he be pissed off about?”

_Me_ , Axel thought, but of course he couldn’t say that. It wasn’t like he could admit that he was trying to piss off his brother by spending time with Roxas and that his brother had found out. That would definitely be the end of all of this. Then he’d never get under his brother’s skin the way he wanted to. Instead, he just gave a very non-committal shrug and tried to focus on the food on the shelves.

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense, though. He does seem to have PMS every once in a while. Then his asshole level goes up about… three to five points.”

“If you think he’s an asshole, why are you dating him?”

Axel didn’t even mean to say it. It was just another thing he blurted out. In that moment, he envied Roxas’s ability to think things over before he spoke. His lack of a brain-to-mouth filter got his ass in trouble more times than he could count. He stole a peak at Roxas and the boy hadn’t really reacted to it much, but he still knew that he had treaded on eggshells. He didn’t want to go there. But at the same time… he kind of wanted the answer.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I mean. He’s not a bad boyfriend. I enjoy hanging out with him. It’s not really a relationship that’s going to go the distance.” He paused, and then eyed Axel suspiciously. “You’re not going to tell him this, are you?”

Axel grinned and shook his head. “Of course not. My lips are sealed.”

“Good.” Roxas nodded, then let out a deep breath. “I like spending time with him. He’s fun to be around. But it’s not like I’m expecting to get married to him. I think he’s more serious with me than he’s been before, but I’m really not all that serious about it. It’s just… fun. Good for the moment, but not something I’m placing any bets on. We don’t work that well. He’s kind of too much of an asshole for me.”

Axel nodded and couldn’t help the small smile that found its way on his face. He wasn’t supposed to look pleased about that. He wasn’t even supposed to feel that pleased about it. This went way deeper than just being happy that for once, Reno wasn’t getting exactly what he wanted. He was genuinely happy that Roxas didn’t think this was going to last too long. Maybe because he wanted things to work out between them?

No, that’s ridiculous. This is just about getting back at Reno. That’s all. But still, he had a hard time convincing himself that.

—-

After the grocery store, they finally exchanged numbers. There was no more guesswork in spending time together. They just… did. They spent time together and acted like friends, eventually growing pretty damn close. They weren’t sharing secrets, by any means, but they were definitely a lot closer than they had been. It was easy, being friends with Roxas. They could tease each other and argue and then in a little while, everything would be okay, because they’d see something dumb or funny that they just had to tell the other one.

They hung out a lot more often. More often than even Reno and Roxas spent time together. That drove Reno nuts, which pleased Axel tremendously. An unhappy Reno called for a very happy Axel. Axel had to put up with dealing with Reno a lot more often, though, because every once in a while Reno would text him or call him or even show up at his apartment to make his annoyance clear. Axel kept the innocent act up, but they both knew the truth.

What Reno didn’t know was that this was becoming a lot more than just trying to get back at his older brother. Axel was starting to really look forward to spending time with Roxas, and he had never grinned at his phone more than when he was in the middle of a dumb conversation with the blonde. They could talk for hours together; they could talk about anything. Dumb or serious, pop culture or politics; they would have a conversation for hours about every little aspect of their lives.

Axel started to get to know him. He learned that Roxas had a younger sister that he loved more than anyone in his whole family. He learned that his parents were a little overbearing, but they meant well and just wanted the best for their kids. After a few weeks, he knew more about Roxas than Reno did, and that made the older redhead steaming mad. But it had stopped being about revenge. It started being far more about Roxas and how Axel felt when he was around Roxas. He felt like he could do anything, be anything. He needed that.

Although he hated himself for it, he started to fall in love with the boy.

—-

Axel was a sophomore when he realized how much he truly hated his brother.

There was this girl. Rae Daimons. Axel, in his naïve youth, had decided that he was irrevocably in love with the girl. There was just something about the way her hair always looked so smooth and how she always smelled like strawberries that was just intoxicating to Axel. They had two classes together and weren’t exactly friends, but they were definitely friendly with each other. Axel, being the smooth fifteen year old boy he was, flirted with her constantly and Rae seemed to adore the attention.

He finally mustered up the courage to ask her to the homecoming dance. He had it laid out perfectly. He was going to ask her right after fifth period, when he walked her to her next class, which he always did, since it was nearby his own class. He would start by asking her what she thought about the dance, the theme, the location, and then finally ask her if she wanted to be his date. She liked him, so it was going to be easy. He just knew it.

So after fifth period, he strolled up to her and asked if he could walk her to her next class. She said yes and they spent the first few minutes of the walk prattling aimlessly about what they had been doing in class that day. When he finally built up to asking her out, that was when things went to shit. She tensed up and couldn’t meet his eye.

“I thought you would’ve already known…” she said sheepishly.

Reno had already asked her. Reno, the senior, had asked a sophomore to the dance. Funny, since he hadn’t even noticed her before Axel had confided his plans to his friend Demyx, which Reno had overheard.

Axel didn’t talk to Rae ever again. That wasn’t a blow you could really just get over. The worst part of it was that Reno stood Rae up. He stood her up and went to some hotel with some other girl. Axel wouldn’t have done that to her, and she knew it. But it didn’t matter anymore. Because his asshole of a brother had beaten him to the punch, just for the sake of fucking with him.

—-

Axel had never felt this way before. In trying to get under his brother’s skin, Axel had managed to let Roxas get under his own skin. It was just supposed to be a game. It was just supposed to be a way to fuck with Reno, to get him back after all the shit he had done to Axel. But it had backfired in either the worst or the best way.

There really wasn’t any denying it. Axel’s feelings for Roxas had grown far too much in the almost two months that he had gotten to know him. He wasn’t expecting to fall for Roxas’s humor, his sarcasm, or his way of revealing things about himself without actually coming out and saying them. He was so backwards and different from everyone else that he was more like Axel than Axel even wanted to admit. They were so alike and yet so similar at the same time and Axel didn’t know how to handle that. How could he handle finding the person that he was sure was his other half, even though he had never, not once, believed in that bullshit? How could this blonde boy be making Axel rethink everything that he had ever thought about himself and his own beliefs?

The more Axel got to know Roxas, the more he was sure that Reno wasn’t good enough for him. He hated seeing the look on Roxas’s face whenever the blonde talked about another fight they had or how Reno had been distancing himself lately. Roxas had grown too involved in a relationship that he had never even been certain was worth pursuing, and now Axel had to undo that. Because Reno was not and would never be good enough for Roxas. And maybe Axel wasn’t, either, but he had to at least try.

Because he was falling for the blonde, damn it. He was falling for his beautiful blonde hair and his blue eyes that, had he been poetic, he would say something about how easily he lost himself in them. He was falling for his smart remarks and the way that he could give Axel a taste of his own medicine without once hesitating or losing that beautiful, amazing, wonderful smile.

—-

After the Rae incident, Axel didn’t talk to Reno for weeks. He wouldn’t even look at him when he sat at the kitchen table. Reno tried for a few days to get his little brother to talk to him, but when he made it clear that he had no interest, Reno finally gave up and just went about his days. They each pretended like the other didn’t exist, and that worked just fine for Axel.

For his mother, though, it wasn’t good. It drove her absolutely insane. She didn’t understand why they wouldn’t want to talk to each other. They were brothers, after all. And brothers were supposed to be there for each other, because that’s what brothers did. She followed the boys around for days trying to convince them to talk to each other. Axel was the one who finally caved.

He told the whole story to his mother. How he had liked Rae first and then Reno asked her out and then didn’t even treat her right. She listened to every bit of his sniveling, and Axel had never loved her more in his entire life than he did in that moment. She didn’t judge him at all; she didn’t offer him a solution. She just let him talk until he was completely talked out.

“You know why I love you?” she asked once he had finished. He gave a half-hearted shrug and she smiled at him. “Because you care so much. It bothers you that he wrong this girl, just to get something from you.” She paused, and then ran her fingers through his bright red hair. “But you two are a lot more in common than you think, you know. You both jump to conclusions, especially about each other. There will be other girls and other dances. But he’ll always be your brother.”

—-

“Roxas, it’s Axel,” he said, knocking on the apartment door. “Open up.”

It was early in the morning. Well, early for him, anyway. It was about eleven a.m. on his day off, which just so happened to be a day that he knew Roxas had no classes. Normally, he’d be asleep until noon, but last night he could barely sleep at all. He was nervous because he knew that he had to do this. He knew that he had to come clean to Roxas about how he was feeling. For once in his life, he was pulling his tail out from between his legs and actually talk about how the hell he was feeling. He wasn’t sure why people seemed to limit that kind of shit to being a “girly” thing to do. It seemed pretty damn scary at the moment, so he took a moment to give props to girls for being able to actually do it.

He was not, however, expecting his brother to be the one to open the door. He wasn’t expecting to see such an angry look on his brother’s face, and he definitely wasn’t fucking expecting the sucker punch that came from his own older brother’s fist.

“The fuck is wrong with you?!” he demanded, taking a moment to check his nose for blood before he connected his own fist into the older male’s gut.

They continued like that for a little while, punching and kicking and kneeing anywhere they could until they were on the ground, rolling around as they fought for dominance. It was happening so damn fast that Axel wasn’t even sure what the hell was going on. He wasn’t sure who was winning or who was more hurt he just knew that he was moving as fast and as hard as he could and he hurt all fucking over because damn Reno could pack a punch.

And then, just like that, it was over. He was being pulled up by two pairs of hands, which was his only indication that, at least for that moment, he was the one on top. He was thrown into a wall by the hands and if he hadn’t stopped to take a breath, he would have been paying more attention to what was going on.

“Thanks, Zack,” he heard Roxas say, earning a grunt in response. That was what brought him back to the situation. He was in Roxas’s apartment, and he and his brother had been beating the shit out of each other. If that wasn’t Lifetime movie worthy, he didn’t know what was. Or maybe Maury or Dr. Phil or some shit. It wasn’t like he actually watched those shows.

“The fuck is wrong with you two?!” Roxas demanded after the door slammed shut. “Why did I walk into World War three in my living room?”

“Ask him,” Axel spat, holding his ribs a little and trying to look as pitiful as possible. He probably looked like shit. No, he knew he looked like shit, because Reno was on the ground, looking like he got run over by a train. Axel had to look at least half that bad. For a moment, he felt a pang of guilt, before it sunk in again that Reno was the one that started it by throwing the first punch.

“What are you doing here, Axel?!” Reno demanded, finally getting up off the floor.

“None of your damn business. I didn’t come here to see you.”

“Well you got me. So what the fuck were you planning on doing here?”

Axel didn’t answer. He thought about moving forward again to hit his brother, but he wasn’t sure that either of them could really take another punch. And he was pretty sure that Roxas would rip out both of their throats if either of them attempted to get near each other.

“You just don’t know when to quit, do you, Axel?” Reno spat, taking a step forward. Roxas’s arm flew to the door, which made Reno stop. Interesting. Afraid of whoever that Zack guy was, maybe? “He’s not your fucking boyfriend! You don’t get to just drop in and spend so much fucking time with him. He’s mine, or did you forget that?”

“You don’t deserve him,” Axel muttered, just barely loud enough for Reno to hear. “He deserves way better than you.”

“Are you guys seriously talking about me like I’m not here?” Roxas asked, his voice was a strange mix between pissed off and incredulous. “That was over me?”

“Why don’t you tell him, Axel? Tell him all about how you’ve been trying to get back at me for whatever the hell it was that I did to wrong you when we were growing up. Tell him how the only reason why you were even talking to him was because he’s dating me.”

“Shut the fuck up, Reno.”

“No, really. I’d love to see how that one goes. It’s kind of pathetic. It’s not enough that you have to look like me, now you have to date the same guys? Really, Axel?”

Axel thought about punching him again. God, he wanted to. But the fact that Roxas had now managed to get between the two of them was the only thing that was stopping him from lunging right now. He just wanted Reno to shut the fuck up before he ruined everything for him.

“Is that true?”

Shit. Too late. Of course Roxas would find a problem with that. Of course he would believe Reno. Then again, it wasn’t like Reno was lying. He was actually dead-on. If it wasn’t for the fact that Roxas was dating Reno, Axel wouldn’t have even bothered trying to get close to him. He would’ve been the hot guy on the bus and that was it. But now, things had changed. How was he supposed to tell Roxas that, though? If Axel had been given his way, everything about this would have been different.

“Well… yeah. Sort of. But.”

“Get out.”

“What?” Axel froze, and glanced over at Roxas. The blonde was fuming. His gaze was fixed at the ground and his hands were balled into fists. Axel had never seen such a physical display of rage before in his life, and he wasn’t sure that it was something he ever wanted to see, especially from the blonde.

“Get out. Both of you. I’m not a piece of meat to fight over. It certainly explains a fucking lot. You,” he pointed at Axel, “are an asshole for trying to get back at your brother. And Axel’s right, you,” now the finger jabbed at Reno, “don’t deserve me. Neither of you fucking deserve me. You’re both assholes who have nothing better to do than try to pull one over on your brother and fuck shit up. You two don’t’ deserve anyone, if this is how you’re going to fucking act. Get out. Both of you. I never want to see you again.”

And with that, he stormed off into his room and slammed the door.

Axel and Reno stared at each other for a long time, before they each also stormed out. Reno left before Axel, and the redhead considered going in to talk to Roxas before he left, but he had a feeling that wouldn’t go well. Roxas looked mad enough to punch someone, and Axel had gone through enough beating for the day. Both emotionally and physically.

He couldn’t help but feel guilty, though, and not just for what he had done to Roxas. Before Reno had left, the older redhead had looked completely dejected. He had just lost something big, too, and it wasn’t his fault. It was completely Axel’s fault, and Axel couldn’t help but feel bad for it. He hadn’t wanted to ruin things for his brother, he just wanted to drive him a little crazy. Remind him that Axel could get what he wanted, too. Remind him that Axel was just as good as he was. And he had made that loud and clear, but he had also made it loud and clear that Axel was just as bad as Reno was, too.

Axel had fucked everything up, and he knew it.

—-

Mrs. Flynn had to have told Reno about why Axel was so mad at him. Otherwise, Reno wouldn’t have started trying to be in the same room as Axel again. They still didn’t say a word to each other, but they were at least in the same room. Reno tried to do nice things for his brother; small things, like leaving the last thing of pop tarts for him or making sure that he had a ride to school before he left. Little things that Axel had taken for granted before he stopped talking to his older brother. Once the contact was shut off, so was all of the little things his brother did to look out for him. After Axel’s talk with his mom, all the little things started up again, and Axel was so relieved. They really made everything just a bit better.

One night, when Axel was trying to do his homework, Reno finally connected them again. He walked into his brother’s room—without knocking—and took a seat down on the bed. He waited a second, let Axel consider all the things that he could throw at Reno to get him to go away, completely ignoring how childish that was.

“I didn’t do that, you know,” Reno finally said, leaning back on Axel’s bed. Axel turned around and faced him, shooting him a curious look, though he still didn’t open his mouth because, damn it, that bastard hadn’t earned it. “I didn’t ask Rae out.”

“Sure you didn’t,” Axel replied with a scowl, turning around.

“I really didn’t. I knew you liked her. I was just trying to help you out. Make sure that she said yes. I guess she took it as me asking her out. You know I suck with words sometimes.” He let out a sigh and Axel half-turned back toward her. “I didn’t know that was why you were so mad at me. I thought I had just managed to do something dumb and you were throwing a hissy fit. I didn’t know it was over that. I really was just trying to look out for you. It just… blew up in my face.”

That wasn’t at all what Axel expected. Reno wasn’t the type to try to fix things for Axel. He was the type to sit back and then go “I told you so.” Why would he try to get Axel a date? Didn’t he have better things to do.

“Why would you do that?”

“Because you’re my little brother. And Rae’s kind of an airhead. I know, I was friends with her brother for a while. She didn’t know you liked her. She probably would’ve said no, for no good reason. So I thought I’d just… help you out. Then she decided that I had asked her out, when I had no fucking clue about that. I was just trying to be a decent brother.”

And, just like that, the moment was gone. Reno shrugged and stood up. He walked out of the room and they never talked about it again.

—-

The convenient part about Axel being a creepy stalker all throughout the time he knew Roxas, was that it made finding the boy a lot easier. He knew that after his physics class on Tuesdays he had exactly twenty minutes to get to his English class. He knew where the physics class was and he knew that Roxas really was in no rush at all, so it was the perfect time to try to talk to the boy. 

The problem was, though, that his hair was kind of a beacon, so sneaking up on Roxas didn’t work. At all.

As soon as Roxas spied him, he turned on his heel and practically launched himself in the opposite direction. Unfortunately for the blonde, though, Axel had longer legs than Roxas did, which made catching up to the boy a lot easier. Not easy, just easier. By the time he finally made it to the boy, he was almost out of breath, because damn Roxas could move.

“Will you slow down?” he practically begged, only to fall on deaf ears, apparently. If anything, Roxas sped up, which made Axel want to curse the boy to Timbuktu and back. Damn him. “Fine, don’t slow down. Don’t say anything to me. Just listen.”

Axel wasn’t sure what response he was expecting, though. He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for after he spoke those words. After a few seconds of no response, Axel sighed and jumped in front of Roxas, which at least got the boy to stop for a second, if only so that Axel could see the death glare he gave him. Axel had to admit, if looks could kill, he’d definitely be dead right now. Or maybe he’d be turned to stone. Not that he was comparing Roxas to Medusa, because clearly the blonde was one hell of a lot more attractive, but the intensity of the look made Axel sort of want to pee his pants.

“I’m sorry you walked into us fighting like that. He started it. Not that it makes it any better, but he’s the one that sucker punched me. I deserved it, yeah, I know. I really did. But—”

Axel didn’t get to finish, though, because Roxas let out a frustrated noise and just walked another way, any way to get away from Axel, it seemed. The redhead wasn’t going to take that, though.

“Really. He was the one beating up on me first, so you should be mad at him for that—”

“I don’t care who started it, Axel!” Roxas finally snapped, turning to give Axel another intense glare. “You’re acting like a fifteen year old. I don’t give a shit who punched who first. That’s not the problem. The problem is that you used me to get back at your older brother. Reno fucked shit up, too, but stop trying to put blame on him. You’re the one who caused this whole fucking mess. You’re the one I’m pissed off at right now.”

And then he kept walking. He walked even faster, if possible, with his arms tense at his sides and his legs taking quick little steps that Axel had to work to keep up with. Axel followed after him, trying every little defense he could come up with. He hardly even noticed that every single bit of what he said was blaming Reno for what happened. It took him about ten minutes of following Roxas to realize his mistake. Roxas didn’t want to hear Axel blaming his older brother. He wanted to hear Axel taking responsibility for his actions.  But how? Roxas had no desire to listen to what he had to say, but he had to, damn it.

By the time he realized this, though, Roxas was already walking into his half-filled English classroom. Axel didn’t even hesitate in following him up to a seat at the very, very top. Of course this would happen. Of course Roxas would come in here, because he knew that Axel wouldn’t want to make a spectacle of himself. But even once they got in there, Roxas didn’t give him any indication that he was listening to Axel. He just took a seat in the very back row and sat there completely expressionless, while Axel probably resembled a drowning fish.

“Roxas,” he mumbled in his ear. “Please, come outside with me. I want to talk to you.”

“Anything you have to say, you can say here,” Roxas said, not even looking at him. “You have about ten minutes. I’d start talking now, if I were you.”

Axel let out a heavy sigh and considered his options for a while. He could leave, but then he was almost certain that he would never get Roxas to listen to him. So instead of listening to his head—which was screaming Stop it, you idiot!, by the way—he walked into the row in front of Roxas and stood right in front of the boy. He kept his voice loud and clear, making sure that Roxas, and everyone around him, could hear. At this point, he didn’t even care. He didn’t owe an explanation to anyone in this room, except Roxas.

“I’m sorry, Roxas. You’re right, I was acting like a child. I was using you to get back at my brother. I figured if I got you to like me, then it would be a big ol’ ‘Fuck you’ to Reno. And it worked. It worked really fucking well, because I got under his skin. But you got under mine, Roxas. But… not in the same way. You…” He paused, and sighed, running a hand through his hair awkwardly. “You’re special. I shouldn’t have been using you. But that’s only how it was at first. When I took you to ice cream, that was on purpose. I was trying to get you to like me, so that I could drive Reno crazy. Everything after that, it was because I liked you. Still do. I liked talking to you and spending time with you and having those dumb conversations that we always did. I don’t know when, but it stopped being about trying to fuck things up for my brother.”

Axel dared a look at Roxas. Now Roxas was at least looking at him, looking like he was paying attention, but he wasn’t showing any expression. Whether this was working or not, he wasn’t really sure, but he sure hoped so. He was up here trying to explain himself not only to Roxas, but to almost all of Roxas’s class. A room full of eighteen and nineteen year olds? Awesome. Definitely how he wanted this conversation to go. Well, at least the blonde was listening to him now.

“I fucked up. I fucked up really badly. But when I came to your apartment, I didn’t know Reno was there. I didn’t know he was going to answer the door. I didn’t know we were going to fight. I just wanted to talk to you. In hindsight, it was a really dumb idea, but my intentions were pure, I swear. I just wanted to talk to you… I wanted to tell you how I felt.

“I’m… shit. I’m no good with words. I really, really suck at talking about this shit. Talking about how I feel about people. But that’s what I was going over there to do. I was going over there to tell you that I love you. I love you and my brother’s no good for you and we could be really good together. And, the thing was, I was wrong. Not about loving you. About my brother. Reno would’ve been good for you, if I hadn’t gotten in the way. Because I was the one that fucked everything up. He was more serious about you than anyone else he had been with, and if it wasn’t for me, you two probably would’ve been happy with each other. Maybe not forever, but for a while. But I’m selfish. I’m selfish and greedy and always view myself as the victim, even when I’m the bad guy. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I used you. I’m sorry I fucked things up for you and Reno.

“I just… I love you. I love the way you look and the way you think things over before you respond. I love the way you take my shit and then hand it back to me without any hesitation. I love how you try to make everyone in your life happy, even if you’re not sure that’s what you want. I love how you go with the flow and just take life as it comes. I love how you’re a stubborn ass and you fight everything, and I love how once you get to know people, you trust them with all your heart. You’re not perfect, and I’m not perfect, but I think we work really well together. And… even though I’m an asshole and selfish and greedy and fuck things up and act before I think, I think we could be good together. And I hope you’re at least willing to talk to me after I just humiliated myself in front of your fucking huge English class.”

And then he was done. He was done and it was silent and Roxas hadn’t even reacted yet. His face was unreadable, almost like he hadn’t figured out himself how he wanted to feel about that. That probably scared Axel more than any other reaction he had ever gotten out of Roxas. If the blonde wasn’t even sure how to react, it probably wasn’t going to bode well for him. For once in his life, Axel wished he was poetic. He wished that he could explain in the flowy language that poets do how much he loved Roxas and how much he needed to at least be given a chance. But he wasn’t a poet. He was just Axel. Axel, the boy who dropped out of college because he couldn’t write well enough according to a professor that he didn’t even like.

So his face fell and he backed away. He started walking out of the aisle and down the stairs and didn’t stop until he was almost at the door, when he felt his arm being pulled back. He turned around to face the blonde  and tried not to look too disheartened as he tried to leave with some dignity. But then his arm was being pulled back again and a hand was cupping his face and pulling him down and his lips were connecting with another pair and God it was even better than he had ever imagined and to be here and to be kissing Roxas was magnificent and not at all how he was expecting his little speech to go but definitely how he hoped that it would go. And so they were kissing and Axel was leaning over and Roxas was on his tip-toes and Axel’s arms were around Roxas’s body and he was pretty sure that he had never held something so important in his life and he was certain that he had never felt this amazing in his life.

And then, just like that, it was over. Roxas pulled away and Axel could hear the applause from the English students that had just witnessed a real-life romantic climax and Roxas was whispering in his ear to meet him after class. Axel walked out of the room in a daze and there was only one thing running around in his mind.

Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that he wasn’t poetic.


End file.
